


The Misadventures Of Will, A Terraria Player.

by Willcraftapple11



Category: Terraria
Genre: By crack i mean this has no plot, Crack, Fishing, Gen, Humor, I am supposed to be sleeping rn, Mass Murder of Slimes, Only bs, Second Person, Slime Rain, There is no plot here., plot what plot?, the player really enjoys fishing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 12:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11783100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willcraftapple11/pseuds/Willcraftapple11
Summary: What it says on the tin, first chapter is about Fishing.





	1. Fishing

You were peacefully fishing in the ocean, grinding for Gold Crates and more Reaver Sharks…..when suddenly it started raining slime. You looked up, shrugged and went back to your fishing, the slime can wait another day. Noticing that a fish was biting you reeled in your fishing rod to get…….. A tin can.  
Staring dumbfounded at the tin can that’s now in your lap you don’t notice the huge slime lurking behind you until it steals the tin can. ‘....what.’ You muttered to yourself as you eyed the huge form of slime hop away. ‘WHAT!’ You abruptly screeched, as the fact that the slime just stole from you registered in your mind.  
‘YOU LITTLE SHIT! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND GIVE ME MY STUFF!’ You howled as you leapt up with your Night’s Edge, fishing forgotten.  
The slime stole from you, You. The slayer of Skeletron, Savior of People.  
It will die, a horrible, horrible death, the little shit.

You run after it, killing all in your way, the green slimes, the blue slimes, the zombies, Everything. The giant slime still keeps just out of your reach, infuriating you.  
You leap over the chasms in the Corruption, rocket over the giant tree you found several months ago, when you first awoke on this forsaken island, and slash another slime when the giant slime suddenly turns around and charges you. “What the fu-AH” You screamed as the Slime slammed into you.  
You reflexively slashed at the Slime and set it ablaze. Serves it right, you thought to yourself, as you charged it to attack further. It won’t run from you any longer, you will get your revenge!  
After a, truthfully not very, long battle, you thrust your sword in the air in victory as the giant ass slime dissolved into nothing, leaving behind the tin can it stole and a slimy staff. 

You stared at the tin can, in the warm, cozy house you built with Steve and stared some more, what is so special about this piece of shit that you chased a giant slime halfway across the island for?  
“...Steve?” you asked, turning the can over in your hands. “Yeah, Will?” He said, walking in the room, “What is it?”  
“Steve. I just chased down and killed a Slime for this lump of junk, and I don’t know why.” You groaned, shaking the tin can before throwing it at the wall in sudden frustration.  
“Where’s the alcohol?” You mumbled into the table, “I need a drink.”


	2. The Wall Of Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That time Will accidentally summoned the WoF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in like 30 minutes, enjoy, and thank you @VenomQuill for reminding me that this exists!  
> Kudos to you, dude.

  You had finally done it, built a bridge spanning the entire length of the weird hellscape below the island. It took you several weeks as you continuously had to go back surface-side for more materials and to not actually worry the other people into diving down the Very Deep Pit you dug several More weeks ago. They worry way to much, to be frank. You only get into near death encounters every other week, it's  _nothing_ , besides... it's not like you can hardly help getting into these encounters, it just Happens. Like that time with that worm thing. You shrug and wave off those depressing thoughts and stretch back, popping your bones satisfyingly, in victory, knocking the doll you found of Steve earlier into the lava below.

  Suddenly a deep, ear grating  ** _roar_** sounds as you are swept with a sudden feeling of all-encompassing Terror. Darting upright, you grab your sword and turn to your foe. "Damn that's ugly." You say, somehow utterly  _calm_. The-the  _thing_ is huge, spanning all of the cavern you are in, with countless eyes and mouths. It moves towards you with what seems to be a single purpose, which is to fucking  _eat you_. "Not fucking today, you oversized fucking demon!" You shriek, slashing at one of the monsters eyes and grinning in sharp satisfaction as it roars in pain, "You'll wish you never existed when  _I'm_ done with you!" You take a few steps backwards and leap away as it speeds up, somehow.

  "How do you even  _move_." You whisper, several hours later, stabbing at another eye and ripping it from the body. It roars and sends more weird fleshy flying things at you as it continuously moves forward. "FUCK, OW!" You yelp as one of the things bites you, you are  _not happy,_ this thing doesn't want to die no matter how many eyes you rip out of their sockets _._ It infuriates you, honestly. A laser shoots by your hand, "Fuck off!" You bark at the eye that shot it, taking a blind swing at the literal wall of flesh standing before you, well, existing before you anyway. It roars in anguish and much louder than any of its other roars. You jerk your head forwards again and watch in awe as it stops moving and shudders before just. Falling to pieces and dropping a hammer and several shiny buttons. "...What?" You mutter, suddenly quiet, as the feeling of unceasing Terror that plagued you for the past who knows how long dissipates into nothing. Picking up the hammer, you notice how shimmery it is, and wonder what it's made of briefly before thinking on the guys at home. "I gotta get home, man, Steve must be worried  _sick_."

 


	3. Damned Injuries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will returns home. and can't find Steve, so he goes to Claire (The Nurse), who then drags Will to get fucking healed because Will is an idiot who doesn't understand the meaning of 'Check Up With me whenever you come back from your adventures because I swear to the fucking creators if you don't I will fucking strap you to this bed!' from Claire the last time he came back with a mildly serious/lifethreatening injury and didn't seem to understand that it was lifethreatening. Enjoy.

“Steve?” You asked the darkened main room of your house. Where is he? “I’m sorry I took so long to get back, there was this, this thing that held me up.” You continued, walking deeper into the house. C’mon Will, he’s probably like doing laundry or whatever he does when you’re not around. You thought to yourself reassuringly. It did little to ease your unease. “Why the fuck am I having this sense of unease?” You muttered to yourself, it echoed in the dark room, “And why the fuck are the lights off?” You continued, lighting up one of the wall torches you were compelled to put down months and months ago. Huffing to yourself you leave the house to go ask Claire where he went, dropping the torch back onto its sconce in the wall.  
“Claire! Wheres Steve?” you immediately ask her as she comes out of her house. Before you get a chance to accost her further she hisses and asks you “Why didn’t you come to me the first chance you got?!? And why are you walking around, you bloody idiot?” “What?” You ask slowly, not understanding. Growling in consternation, Claire reaches forward and grabs your arm, which causes you to let go of the sword that you’ve held in an iron grip for hours with a yelp of pain. Your arm is torn up, with bite marks and burns. It was freely bleeding. “This! You bloody idiot! Get the…….ins…..e, …...s’ll……..a wh…..” She said caustically, at least you think she said it caustically, you couldn’t understand her suddenly. “....what?” you asked again. It was unbelievably dark all of a sudden, Maybe it’s the blood loss? You mused to yourself hysterically. Sonofabitch, Steve’s never gonna let me live this down. You continue. Sleeping sounds nice. You are incredibly tired, too. Maybe just a quick napperoo. “‘M gonna take a nap, Clair.” You mumble, going to the nice comforting blackness of blood-loss-induced slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the shitty cliffhanger. This is Terraria so yeah, no perma death I promise. it's also really really short because I have 20 minutes to get my ass in gear and ready for school so enjoy my half awake ramblings for the second half of the story. Arrivederci or whatever the cool kids are saying nowadays.   
> What Claire Said: "Get the fuck inside, this'll take a while..."


	4. Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whaddaya mean, coherent plot? We don't have that here. Good day, sir.

You woke up vaguely hungry. This is normal, since you rarely actually eat anything of substance. But whatever, you are hungry. And so you stumble to one of the multitudes of chests that hold literally all of your shit, down to the last lump of very useless copper. 

You slam that sucker open and grab a fish. Delicious.

“...fuck im almost outta fish.” You mutter annoyedly, since it means that you need to go fishing again, dammit. “Welp. TIme to FISH.”

 

“Will! Hey!” Steve exclaimed suddenly behind you, as if he teleported. Which is very likely, the ass. 

“What. The Fuck. Do You  _ WANT?” _ You barked at him. It was still early and you haven’t gotten a single bite from a single fucking fish.

“Nothing Much, yo. Just gotta give ya some advices!” He chirped. Fucking morning people. Who the fuck  _ chirps this early in the goddamned morning? _

“What.” You said flatly, reeling in the fishing line to nothing but a sodden boot, again.

“You know that hammer? From that weird flesh monster a couple weeks back?” He said, pantomiming a large yet light hammer easily swung.

“Yeah, it’s a great wall decoration. So?”

“Maybe try using it to, maybe, I dunno, break some altars? Something weird and absolutely insane might happen.” He said cheerfully, “That’s really all, so bye i guess.” And he then left you to stew to yourself over the thing that he suggested for you to do in the dark. Alone. Again.

“Damn my guilty conscience that loves attention from other people.” You muttered.

“Now where the fuck did I put that hammer?”


End file.
